Christmas has taken it's toll.

As I write this I do not feel well. There is a waft of chocolate coming from somewhere and it is making me feel ill. Christmas was full of too much of everything. Too much food. Too much drink. To much. I survived up until this point and it's this insignificant wiff of chocolate that has pushed me over the edge. I am over Christmas. I could do with maybe another week off work to recover but I have to return tomorrow instead. Omg I think I might vom. Genuinely. I have to stop typing because I have to vom. God damn you over indulgence!

I just keep getting distracted.

I am way behind in life right now. It's less than a week to Christmas and I have nothing bought. NOTHING! By now I really should have all my presents wrapped, super creative cards made, warm woolly stuff knitted and a hilarious video based around my family and our Sunday dinners cleverly edited. The reality is I have nothing. I have knitted a bookmark for my mother and a hairband for my sister. That's it.

Here is an example of what I can do when I put my mind to it:

Nothing says "happy fathers day" like a homemade card and tin foil picture frame.

Now is the time to panic I believe, but I'm not panicking for some reason. You see I have zero motivation for anything that requires effort of any sort and I keep getting distracted by things.

Things like Star Wars. Which has pretty much taken over the world. Here as I sit and type I am eating a chocolate bar with Kylo Ren's masked mug printed on the wrapper, same with the fizzy drink I am chugging. The huzband is playing battlefront and cursing at the screen "fuckin' move Darth!". I go into to work which is predominantly staffed by nerds who have seen the movie every night since it's release. I have not seen it once and it hurts my heart. Admiral Ackbar was right, it's a trap! from which there is no escape. Star Wars is everywhere and it's distracting.

 See what I mean? I can't even get through a post without thinking Star Wars. I will see it eventually.
 
I suppose I really should get started on my gifts instead of writing this. Which is just another distraction to be fair. I have neglected it for ages and ages (sorry about that btw) then the second I decide to maybe get started on that super hilarious video for the family I think it would be a better idea to write a blog post that has no point or no doodles.... Mother of god. It's now half twelve. GOD DAMN YOU INTERNET AND YOUR DISTRACTIONS!!!

Four last minute, cheap, Halloween costume ideas!

Everyone knows that the Irish pretty much invented Halloween right? combine that with the fact that I grew up with parents who thought there were more important things to spend money on than Halloween costumes. So I managed to learn a thing or two when it comes to creating cheap and scary Halloween costumes in just a few minutes. Most of the items you will find right in your home already. So if your last minute (eg: this post) about everything in life. Like myself, and you are just DESPERATE for a costume then get ready to get crafty! because I will show you how to make some of the costumes that I wore as a child. Outside. With people around.

You could always just throw on a white sheet.

I drank so much coffee today..

Hello blog,

it's been a while since you've been updated. I'm sorry, but I got lazy and couldn't of been arsed doing doodles for a while (see what I did there? I incorporated my name. Genius.) It happens from time to time, I get lazy. I did however knit lots and lots of useless crap:

Just an example of said useless crap: 

I especially like that little finger hat I made...because you know, this is Ireland and our fingers get cold. How many people can say they own a finger hat? Yeah. Not many, that's for damn sure! Can you say hipster?

That's just a taste of the useless crap that I have knitted this past month. So now I just have this big pile of  wool-ie nothingness and my life is over. Christmas is nearly upon us and I haven't even managed to knit a scarf and I've used about 10 balls of wool. With nothing to show for it! So I must really get my act together...

I have drank so much coffee today though I think my heart might explode, that or I have diabetes because I've had to pee like 30 times while writing this already. So yeah. Wish me luck with that. The upside to drinking all this coffee hopefully means I have enough energy and focus to bang out a few doodles. Hopefully.

I'll probably just end up watching the Graham Norton show and knit nothing. Alas the joys of adulthood.

Again, I am sorry to my one follower (shout out to you WhenIsDinnerReady?) I'll try and do better. lovely name by the way.

 

How could you?

My sister Megnan

You may think that I made a typo in that title, but I meant to do that. You see, my family recently discovered that my sister is named "Megnan" on her birth cert rather than Megan... It says to me that most people were drunk in 80s Ireland, and just to further my case on this. On my christening cert it says I was born a year earlier, so for a very brief period in my life I thought I was a year younger than I actually was, but that's a story for another time.
For now though, you have the absolute pleasure of meeting my older sister Megnan who just LOVES to sing all the fecking time. Trust me, am not exaggerating when I say all the time I wouldn't mind as much if she could actually sing, but she can't and it's unfortunate for anyone within hearing distance.

Here she is singing about a hematoma I had on my leg once...but that's fairly obvious I guess.
my sister Megnan
I have always wondered though.. .

A message from my dad...

A mixed message from my dad, the usual kinda malark. I don't know how I should take this though. What is this severe discipline he speaks of? Why is he shouting? Should I be worried? Printer ink in his house is like gold-dust and "should only be used in an emergency" his words. It's like the clothes dryer, more of decoration then a utility really. Did my dad consider this an emergency? How will he know who's pockets the "COINS ETC" came from? So many questions!

The "KEEP SMILING" bit seems a bit ominous, is it a kind of veiled threat or something? He does after all like to remind us that he's "trained to kill" God knows what goes on in his head...It's hard to keep smiling after reading that....

                     

Happy punday!

Well...would you look at how cute that face is.

Ohh the boo boo.

Anywho I'd love to stay and chat but I mustache...things to do people to see.

An incident with wrapping paper.

If only

I'd opened my ears and  listened. I was fairly young when this happened, but I was old enough to know better and know that apple paper is not a thing that exists.  Hindsight is a bitch.

So I was doing doodles in my room, while my sister (who clearly didn't realise what amazing art skills I had) was giving me a singing commentary on my life. When my mother as usual, rudely interrupted, her friend needed a favor:  

My thoughts on cats..

Ever notice

how some cats can be such asses sometimes:

A trip to the cinema with my dad gets awkward.

At the cinema with Dad:

My dad is a complex man so something a normal as going to the cinema is not so straightforward as one would think.  My brother Jonathan at the fragile age of 14 was about to find out the hard way that no situation is normal in my family...

My dad has died more time than I can count...

  Meet my dad:                   

This is Liam

 Most dads I know of tend to unwittingly make situations more awkward. My dad however, purposely likes to make situations as awkward as possible.