My sister Megnan

You may think that I made a typo in that title, but I meant to do that. You see, my family recently discovered that my sister is named "Megnan" on her birth cert rather than Megan... It says to me that most people were drunk in 80s Ireland, and just to further my case on this. On my christening cert it says I was born a year earlier, so for a very brief period in my life I thought I was a year younger than I actually was, but that's a story for another time.
For now though, you have the absolute pleasure of meeting my older sister Megnan who just LOVES to sing all the fecking time. Trust me, am not exaggerating when I say all the time I wouldn't mind as much if she could actually sing, but she can't and it's unfortunate for anyone within hearing distance.

Here she is singing about a hematoma I had on my leg once...but that's fairly obvious I guess.
my sister Megnan
I have always wondered though.. .

A message from my dad...

A mixed message from my dad, the usual kinda malark. I don't know how I should take this though. What is this severe discipline he speaks of? Why is he shouting? Should I be worried? Printer ink in his house is like gold-dust and "should only be used in an emergency" his words. It's like the clothes dryer, more of decoration then a utility really. Did my dad consider this an emergency? How will he know who's pockets the "COINS ETC" came from? So many questions!

The "KEEP SMILING" bit seems a bit ominous, is it a kind of veiled threat or something? He does after all like to remind us that he's "trained to kill" God knows what goes on in his head...It's hard to keep smiling after reading that....

                     

An incident with wrapping paper.

If only

I'd opened my ears and  listened. I was fairly young when this happened, but I was old enough to know better and know that apple paper is not a thing that exists.  Hindsight is a bitch.

So I was doing doodles in my room, while my sister (who clearly didn't realise what amazing art skills I had) was giving me a singing commentary on my life. When my mother as usual, rudely interrupted, her friend needed a favor:  

My dad has died more time than I can count...

  Meet my dad:                   

This is Liam

 Most dads I know of tend to unwittingly make situations more awkward. My dad however, purposely likes to make situations as awkward as possible.