My dad has died more time than I can count...

  Meet my dad:                   

This is Liam

 Most dads I know of tend to unwittingly make situations more awkward. My dad however, purposely likes to make situations as awkward as possible.

One way he quite frequently does this is by pretending to die. If you enter a room that he currently occupies he will more often than not drop what he's doing, flop over and "die". He will then lie there for what feels like several minutes completely motionless with his eyes wide open, blankly staring into space. He commits himself one hundred percent to everything and playing dead is no different. 

   

He's like a rock.

My dad has been doing this for so long and has done it so much that one of these days we will just come home and he will actually be dead....and no one will pay him any attention.

In saying that, there are ways in which you can make my dad come alive again, but it's not recommended that you try these techniques when you have visitors with you as it can lead to more odd behaviour. 

There is the "poke" option....

The stomach is the only option here, poking him anywhere else will yield no results. It does however result in my dad rolling around and screaming like he has just been poked by a chainsaw.

Life should go back to normal after a few minutes, provided my dad doesn't act like the poke itself killed him again...it's a risk.



Then there is the "T.V" option, this seems to be the safer quieter choice, not always available though..

It can be quick and effective, but it still produces some noise.

He can move fast and still make as much noise as possible (making noise is another gift of his). Another drawback to this method is that it can result in the stare...

Which is just as uncomfortable as him pretending to die. Again though, that is a story for another time.

 This is just one sixth of my family....welcome to my life.